Posted 25 September 2012 - 08:41 PM
Well i was gonna pm RED with my rough draft but it seems his pm's are full.....So frOck it, THIS is what ACTUTALLY happened.....
Ok, reading all these new threads coming up about this and that and this rare car and that, and the speculation on who raced what and what was where and how it happened and when, i thought i would share my story.
Believe it or not, even though im only 24, i was actually there when it all happened. Honest mate fair dinkum, shit i was there so i ought to know what was really said.
The story first starts when i first me the Silver fox, he was into Fords back then, but anyway,
It was back in '32 when times were hard
He had a Colt .45 and a deck of cards
Harry Firth
He wore rat-drawn shoes and an old Stetson hat
Had a '28 Ford, had payments on that
Go by the name of, Harry Firth.
His woman threw him out in the ice and the snow
And told him, "Never ever come back no more, you frOcking asshole, Harry Firth"
So he walked though the rain an he walked through the mud
Till he came to a place called Perfectune engineering
He opened up the door......
"Mr MotherfrOcker, you know who I am"
And Dave Bennet said, "No, and I don't give a good goddamn"
To Harry Firth
He said, "Well head porter, it's plain to see
I'm that bad motherfrOcker called Harry Firth, six sets of 600hp flathead heads if you please"
Dave Bennet said, "Yeah, I've heard your name down the way
And I and i port heads for guys like you everyday"
Mr Harry Firth
I stopped paying attention and went back to my job about then, back then i used to sort out the metal filings at the base of the porting bench, holden, ford, crysler, chev, and put them in individual buckets so Dave could use them to poke back into frOckups. He prefered to use the correct head cast material. After bit of practice you could tell by taste.
Ford bits tasted like shit, Holden V8 didnt taste much better, Holden six was like an angle pissing on your tonsils, Chev was reasonable flavor and Chrysler depended, normal was pretty horrid (not as bad as ford or holden v8 though) but hemi shavings were an orgasm to the tongue.
So i would sit there all day picking up individual metal filings, putting them on my tongue, determining the make, and sorting them that way. Great job.
Fast foward a couple of years, not to many, and Harry came and head hunted me. He heard of my highly tallented tongue that could tell crappy castings from good ones and wanted me to work for thim, this is aabout the same time he started working for Holden.
Tasted quiet a few Monaro's, they were all reasonable, having chev v8's, and didnt go so bad, but i always knew something with an inline six would be way better, they were by far the finest tasting engines. I even mentioned a few times that racing the new HB would have been a good idea, them being so epic and all.
I still remember the six banger Torana unvealing to Harry, He brought me along to taste the new front sheetmetal they had grafted on to decide if it was going to hold up or not. It was a pretty impressive best, grafted on front end to hold the almighty inline six, and new rear sheet metal, i loved it. Could have licked that car all day.
Brocky walked in to have a gander, wearing his usual (for the time) shortest stubby shorts, two massive leather nackers like a ringers saddle bags hanging out one leg, and his mighty blue vein out the other side. You shoulda seen that thing, over all it was only a couple inches, couple of inches from dragging on the ground. Had a vein in its neck like a frOcking opera singer and a head like an old school bell. Used to pick up ribbons at the royal show as well.
Was pretty annoying, we couldnt have attractive office girls at MHDT, as we learnt soon after hiring Brocky. We had a fair decent looker working there at the time, and Brocky walked in, all i can say is we lost 17 good men that day.
Getting the nod all round, the new Torana was commisioned for racing. Straight off the bat with a bog stock 161 it was way faster than a shitty VEEATE powered munro, and once we did a few tweaks like fitting the 186 and tripples etc it was absolutely untouchable.
Problem is Ford cauaght wind of this and fitted BA XR6-T engines to there GTHO's, the only way they coudl come close to touching us, hence we lost a few bathursts.
72 Was a very interesting year. All in all it apparently didnt exist. Firthy and brocky were frOckassing around trying to put that disgusting flavored VEEATE into the nice little XU-1, and some bloke by the name of Richo was helping them.....Couldnt understand a word that bastard said, strange fella....Thankfully they realized he was an idiot and stopped working on it. No wait that was 73. 72 didnt happen, thats right. Think fraud was putting together something called a phase 4 with the supercharged Boss engine in it, but canned that cause of some kinda newspaper artical stopped them in there tracks and they went back to the xr6-t engine....Wait, that was 73 to, my bad. Forgot again for a moment that 72 didnt happen. Just googled 72 to see if it actually did exist and Chuck Norris appeared and shook his fist at me??? Im scared, so i'll move on.
But in 73 (actual 73 not Richo 73) we had some wet weather, the lovely linear torque curve of the then 202 was way better than the peaky laggy XR6-T engines, so we won.
This is just after Colin Bond got sick of the Tudududududud noice the BOVs used to make, and joined us.
Bit of a funny story eventuated from this though. It looked like the winning car had three webbers grafted on with one choke blocked off from each carby, but i had tasted the webbers, SU's, and CD's and declaired the SU's far better.
Problem is that Brocky cooked up a feed on his Webber BBQ and proclaimed (with his mighty genitals hanging out as usual) "frOck this thing cooks a great feed. Think theres a carby along the same lines as this thing, it must be the goods" And to top it off Harry was trying to get into the pants of some Italian chick at the time, sadly this was not to long after females were awarded a mind of there own and you could no longer just point to one and do as you wish with it.
So they reaally wanted Webbers. To get around the lackluster performance though, Harry had a usual stroke of genious, and used a SU throat in the open throat of the webber carb, but rotated 90 degrees so the dashpot was hidden in the body of the webber and had the float bowl in the other choke.
Man was a master, and frOck that car went. Brocky was happy, but i cant recall if Harry ever got the Iti punani he was chasing.
The next year we had to race the LH, and it had that filthy tasting Holden V8 in it. This engine was going to need a lot of work, so for the first few races we hid the XU1 202 in the cab just behind the dirty plastic, and used that as the actual engine. This cut back on the room usually taken up by Brockies almighty penis though so we had to figure something out.
The Beast 2 with its mid mounted repco V8 was fine, we just put a XU-1 202 in the engine bay where it should be, that actually powered it, with a layshaft straight though the V8 to the gearbox. Problem is with the bit of lead in the middle it didnt really handle that well.
When we finally conceeded that we had to use the v8 with the LH we went back to loosing races, but a fair bit of tweaking and a VN headed Harrop blown 355 with a crain 288 cam soon sorted the MHDT cars out and got us back going reasonably, and we kept that engine through the A9X period.....Untill 79!!
In 79 Firthy had his usual stroke of genious, and we decided to cast a "special" block for the race cars.
It had six cylinders down one bank, and just an empty hole in the other bank!!
The exhaust ports ran though both sides, and the manifold only fed one side, so the dealerships were happy as it looked like the crummy v8 they were trying to sell but it was actually an inline six!!
The results speak for themselves.
Soon after that we were made to race commodores and i had little interest in that, so i resigned and began my still current job as a profeshional super genious. Oh yeah, and just under 9 years after that great event i was born!!
Cheers.....
